After getting my diagnosis of chronic endometritis last week, I was put in the weird position of hoping for a BFN this cycle. I tested at home on Tuesday - negatory, followed by a conflicted sigh of relief.
Per the request of Dr. B, I went in for beta bloodwork yesterday morning. Still haven’t gotten the results, but I just deep down feel that it’s negative, and think I might even be starting to feel some cramps.
(Side note about the bloodwork: Dr. B. is located ~45 minutes away depending on traffic, so she said I could get a blood test at any lab, doesn’t have to be hers. So I found a Qu.est nearby and popped in yesterday morning, quick and easy. Dr. B’s nurse said would hear today, but at 5:30p still nothing so I called her. She didn’t see it anywhere, so is calling the lab in the morning. For the first time EVER, this beta is not something that I’m pacing the halls waiting for, so I’m letting it roll off me. But I see this as a VERY valuable test run for when it actually matters. I don’t care how long I have to drive, I’m going to Dr. B’s lab next time.)
I bought a hpt tonight (along with tampons, just to confuse the cashier). I have my office holiday party tomorrow night, so want to be totally sure before I start boozing. It could be dangerous -- it will be my only/last hurrah before starting the antibiotics, and my tolerance is sh** after having barely drank anything in the past 2 years. I was also pregnant at my last 2 holiday parties, so will be making up for lost time.
Mostly I’m relieved that I’ll be able to hold a glass of wine in my hand all night, and actually drink out of it, to avoid someone breaking my heart by noticing my abstinence and assuming that I’m pregnant.
Confession: I am sipping a glass of wine right now. My hubs is out, I’m home alone and feeling sorry for myself, and I said F it and uncorked my first bottle in months. Only about 5 sips in, and I’m already feeling warm and fuzzy.
So I’m probably not making much sense right now so will stop, but I just wanted to tell everyone how much I appreciate your notes and support. It really means so much. I’m sorry I’ve been a bad bloggie friend the past week or so -- my new project at work means lots of people looking at my computer all the time, and is totally killing me! But you have all been in my thoughts.
I’m doing okay. More soon.
My tolerance sucks so bad too (two years off of drinking really turns it to shit right!). The other night we decided to open a bottle of wine for some reason. I ended up passing out in my own house! It wasn't pretty. :). Enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI had my comment eaten. Ugh. Okay, enjoy that wine and the next day or two before you go back on the wagon. I only wish I have had zero tolerance after such a dry summer and fall (on purpose but still).
ReplyDeleteI have such faith in Dr. B and I want very much for you to have some of Mara's luck (rainbow barf who also had the antibiotic rounds) rub off on you. I am armed with a prescription for progesterone and plans to just roll the dice for the next round. And, yet there's hope in that as well.
PS. I am thinking that Brightside is my bright side as you get my musical reference today. I love that song too much, so we have a kindred musical vein. If only I could be Kate Pierson! Le sigh.
You have earned that evening glass of vino my friend. And I hope you have a wonderful time at the party this year. HECK YEAH for being able to hold a real alcoholic beverage and instantly assure the party masses that you are not pregnant so there will be NO AWKWARDNESS.
ReplyDeleteDr. B is going to get this done. You can survive this antibiotic phase, and this it's back to the plan: make a healthy, perfect baby and give birth to him/her. THIS IS GOING TO WORK! Zen zen zen zen. xo
PS If you are ever in Dr. B's hood before work and want to meet for a tea or a walk (okay, getting a little cold for that, haha), just say the word.
Your post did make sense and I hope you enjoyed that much deserved bottle! I hope that this new discovery is the key to finding what will work for you to have a successful pregnancy. Thinking of you and thanks for the sweet note!
ReplyDeleteUm, congrats on the BFN. That still feels wrong saying but I know it will lead to better things so you can get through the antibiotics.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your holiday party tonight and all the wine that will go with it...you deserve it after the last two years!
The bloodwork test run sound very valuable indeed.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get to enjoy the wine and the non-awkwardness! And then, off to wine-free territories...
So glad you got a BFN! (So weird to be typing that!) I'm glad you are getting some vino in and hope you have (had?) a great time at your holiday party - you totally deserve it.
ReplyDeleteTheir lab rocks, by the way. I always went in for my betas at noon and Debra would call me no later than 4pm the same day. They seemed rather pricey, even with insurance, but whatevs. Four hours!
I'm glad that the BFN was accompanied by greater hope for the future. I'm really hoping this infection is the smoking gun and kicking it will give you a WHOLE new story in the new year.
ReplyDeleteHope the holiday party was fun!
Enjoy that wine...you certainly deserve it. Sheesh, you have been through A LOT this past week. I have much hope for you in 2011 my friend. Now enjoy the holidays and get ready for an awesome start to the new year with your awesome RE.
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