more shit scheduled -- heading west

AF arrived last Monday, and with it we made a "f-it -- let's go for it" call to schedule the one-day work up [at Clinic Sunshine]. Quick trip - flying out this Thursday night, back Friday night. We have a full schedule on Friday starting at 7:30a - bloodwork, "specimens," and ugh ugh ugh hysteroscopy. Plus various meet & greets and IVF training type stuff.
    
Complicating matters is that we had a really good appointment on Thursday with the local clinic. I really liked the doctor - his patience, the way he explained things. And he also scored points by calling me YOUNG. That was something I had not heard in a long time. (When we had our genetic testing after mc#2, the genetic counselor actually called me an "old bag." He was trying to make me laugh, but still, ouch.) Like [Dr. Sunshine], he also recommended IVF with the genetic testing to see what we might learn about whether problem seems more bun or oven. He knows that Dr. B. (our RPL doc) is not a fan, so was great to have an honest discussion about her concerns and warnings. I also had an f-it moment (I seem to have lots of those lately) and told him we were also talking to [Dr. Sunshine]. And he handled so graciously - apparently him and the other doc are co-presenting a paper this week, they refer patients to each other all the time, etc. He confirmed that their process is similar, but that they seem to have the edge in some aspects of their technique, he has it in others. He said, if we have a say, 60% chance of success with him, then we might have a %61.5 chance with the other guy. 
  
So we left with our heads spinning a bit, and my husband said "Why are we going to [another freakin' state] again?" 
  
Who the hell knows. Is "because we happened to get an appointment there first" a good reason?
  
flip flop. flip flop. 
  
I really don't know what we're doing. Are we really going through with an IVF cycle at all? In [another freakin' state]?? But for some reason my gut is telling me to turn off my brain and just go with the momentum we've started in this direction. The thought has been brewing for a long time, and now just seems like the time to pull the trigger, see what happens, then get going with whatever the hell we do after that. (Assuming HAVE A BABY isn't it.) Part of me wants to go big, do the hardest thing next, while we have some energy for it (and before winter complicates travel between two snowy cities). Even if not really really true, in 10 years will it let me look back and say, "we gave it our all at the BEST place we could."
  
By yesterday the swirl of indecision had settled back down, gut settled on going, blah blah. Then today we were out cheering at the Chicago Marathon, and who is standing 10 feet away from me? Our doc from the local clinic. He was laughing with friends, so genuinely cheering people on. It made me like him even more. Argh.
    
And oh wait - we have ANOTHER new consult on Tuesday. Ha. Wonder what that will do to our resolve. Yeah, starting to think all these appointments may have been a bad idea. Oh wellz.
  
We will get on a plane Thursday. We will see what we think by the time we get back on the plane Friday. And hopefully my uterus will not be so pissed off at being prodded again that it decides to head for the mountains.
  
Okay, sorry for this rambly post from a scrambly brain. I'll update after this week.