AF arrived this afternoon, right on time according to my estimated calendar from the Sunshine Clinic. How considerate of her! Which means it's GO TIME, people!!! CD1 of my very first (and likely only) IVF cycle.
I've got monitoring at a local clinic for ultrasound and bloodwork in the morning, and should start stim meds on Thursday. I still need to watch the instructional videos and somehow pin down my husband to watch them too - he is driving me crazy with his cavalier attitude about all this! I know we both can't be crazy and we need a calm one in the pair, but I really need him to get his head in the game. So much of this journey has had to be managed by me alone, but this is something he can take off my mental plate. I just might duct tape him to a chair in front of the computer when he gets home. God, I'm already feeling so bitchy and I haven't even started the meds yet, I should be a real treat these next few weeks.
I'm excited to be finally getting this show on the road, but I already felt a ball of anxiety in my gut thinking about the fact that soon we will have to deal with NEWS. News about how many follicles, news about what my levels are doing, news that will be "good" or "bad." I'm trying my hardest to be zen going into this - no expectations, and effectively no hopes. Not in an entirely pessimistic way, but in a way that hopefully keeps me from freaking out and stressing about every number and being soul-crushingly disappointed if things don't turn out great. Because let's remember that my predictors suck and I'm expected to be a low responder, so I just can't get all la-la-la about this. So hopefully this will help me appreciate what goes well, and roll with what doesn't. We'll see.
Deep breaths. One day at a time. And when I need to bitch, it will be here so hold onto your bleepin' hats ladies!
Woo! I am prepared for some cheerleading and online hug-sending. Let's go Mrs. B, Let's go (clap clap)!
ReplyDeleteHey Mrs. Brightside!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your first and likely only IVF cycle! Wow, I loved that feeling of "it's go time!" for mine. And I think you have the perfect perspective going into it. I was waaay to positive and confident going in and was absolutely crushed when I found out it didn't work (well technically I took the news well, but it's a creeper kind of a disapointment). Right now I am working on learning that sometimes it takes more than one try and being okay with that.
Thank you so much for reaching out and leaving me a comment. It really meant a lot to know that you are feeling the same way I do. I look forward to following you!
Good luck!
Buckling in. Let's do this thing!
ReplyDeleteGO TIME! Very excited for you - everything is crossed. I think the thought of all of the meds is a lot more intimidating that actually taking them. You and your husband will get through it - videos or no videos.
ReplyDeleteStarting right on schedule...I think that's a good sign! Good luck. I'll be praying for good news as this ride kicks into full gear.
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK!!!!
ReplyDeleteWishing the best for you this cycle!!!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck hon! Let the hubby be zen. Freak out as much as you want. :-)
ReplyDeletexoxo
If it makes you feel any better about not having seen the videos yet, my doctor's version of a meds lesson was just sitting down with the nurse, who was like, "Yeah, you dial up the pen, stick it in your stomach, and push. You can't really screw it up." And it's true - you really can't. It's almost like there's so much buildup to it that you do your first shot and then wonder wth the fuss was all about.
ReplyDeleteThe stim part of your cycle will probably fly by, which is the good part. Good luck, and I'm hoping so very hard for the best!
Yay I-V-F!!!!! Rooting for you!!!
ReplyDeleteYessssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TIME!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm pulling for you with everything I've got in my corner of the world.
It's exciting and terrifying, but I know one thing: You and hubs are going to ROCK THIS. Sending you tons 'o love and strength and zen.
xoxoxoxo
I am SO hopeful that this cycle will bring you the little one you're longing for!! xoxo.
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you! Way to start off the new year. Go IVF! You can do it! I will be here to cheer you on!
ReplyDelete