It's the little zings, and A Tale of Two Parties

I've had lots of little posts rambling around in my head the past few weeks, so here's my attempt to get them down before the next round of fun...
  
I've written before about the stinging comments that come out of left field and sock you right in the uterus. The ones that set off an emotional reaction and inner dialogue totally oblivious to the offending zinger-flinger. Here was a fun exchange with my mom the other day, someone who has actually been amazingly understanding and supportive but still lets some doozies fly. Tiny zingers in the world of zingers, but still left me in a mood...
  
Her: Cousin so-and-so had their baby.  
Me: {Assholes} {note: not a zinger per se, that's just my usual reaction to this news}  
  
Her: It's a girl, and the last baby in their collective brood, so everyone is joking that the pressure is on (male sons) of (male cousin) to carry on the family name.  
Me: {oh poor them. thanks for reminding me that my husband's family currently has no male grandchildren bearing the family name, and that my husband (a "junior") has no son to make his namesake.}  
  
Her: They named her after grandma, but were worried because (recently married female cousin) likes that name too.
Me: {How nice it must be to profess the names of your future children, and just assume that you'll actually have them someday.}
  
Her: We think (cousin's wife that just had baby) went through fertility treatments and that's why she's been rather thick around the middle lately. Well, we'll see if that was it now.
Me: {Whaa??? Oh where to begin... the roundabout judgments about her weight, the gossiping about whether they did fertility treatments and dared try to keep it a secret, the lack of sympathy over the havoc these treatments wreak on a body if they did, and how gaining a little weight is the least of your concerns at that time, daahhhhhhh!}
  
Good talk, Mom. Let's change the topic please...
  
A few weeks ago I went to a birthday dinner for a college friend. Was a big group of girls, mostly people that I've known over the years but rarely see. And guess who was the only one without kids? Bingo! You guessed it! And guess what a group of women who are all mothers talk about when they get together? Bingo, right again! A good 95% of the conversation was about their kids, cute story this, pass around phone of photos that, and on and on. Not only was I still in a rough place from our failed IVF cycle and raw with jealousy, but it just made for a bad night out, sitting there for almost three hours trying to maintain a polite smile on my face but having absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation. Yet another attempt to be social that left me on the brink of tears, dying to get home to the safety of my couch and DVR. 
  
Fast forward to this past Sunday. A good friend from work had some girls over for a day of watching Oscar movies (courtesy of a friend in SAG) leading up to the red carpet and awards themselves. I had never met most of them, but we were all about the same age, and gloriously, NO ONE had kids. Halle-freaking-lujah. I had the best time, connecting with a group of fun, smart women and chatting about relationships, work, celebrity gossip, movies, sports, politics, whatever - I didn't even care, it was just so nice to let my guard down, to feel "whole" in a group of women, and not leave cowering from a night of zingers. I gotta hang out with these gals more often!
  
In other news, I'm not knocked up from our last cycle, the first since the IVF fiasco. It was an uneventful BFN. By this point, I am 6-for-6 for implantation bleeding with pregnancy, so no spotting = no preggo. By the time I peed on a stick, I already knew in my heart it was negative so made it easier to take that stark single white line giving me the middle finger. AF came on schedule, so I'm gearing up for our next chance, another month of hoping and waiting. Overall my mood has been pretty okay -- it's not like anything has changed about our situation, but just not having a barrage of doctor appointments and test results and medications tips my scale closer to happy. I'm feeling some anxiety around what progress we should be making towards Plan B, trying to wrap my head around actually giving up Plan A, but still not there yet.
  
Other than that, much of my thoughts have been with some fellow bloggies, who have gotten the very best, and the very worst, of news these past few weeks. The collective strength of this community amazes and inspires me every day, and I'm so grateful to be a part of it.