We had another nerve wracking ultrasound today. And it was another normal, perfectly on track ultrasound. For me. This gal. The one with 6 miscarriages and only a few shitty eggs left. It's hard for me to believe even while watching the little heart beat away on the screen. I am so thankful, yet so very very scared that any moment it could all end, no reason, no warning. Because it's ended every other time before for us, and too many times for those I care about in this community.
As of today I am 8 weeks 2 days pregnant. It's hard for me to even put that in writing, for fear that lightning will strike me on the spot. This is farthest we've been since pregnancy #1, when we had a normal ultrasound at 9 weeks and a miscarriage a week later. That is the pregnancy that haunts me now, that keeps me from feeling any real peace at our incremental good news.
The farther we get, the farther we have to fall. I have to constantly remind myself that we are strong and can handle whatever is put in our path, good or bad. That what will be, will be.
There's more I want to share (short version: spotting mostly stopped (mostly) and working from home) but just too beat right now. Thank you as always for all your support and prayers!
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ReplyDeleteSo happy to hear! Thinking of you and still trekking here as well. Stay off your feet as much as you can and be kind to yourself!
ReplyDeleteAmazing wonderful brilliant news!
ReplyDeleteGreat news! Keep resting as much as possible!
ReplyDeleteSo, so glad to hear this. Ugh on the continued spotting but glad it seems to be going away.
ReplyDeleteThe last familiar mile marker is in sight now. I am hoping, praying that you will sail through this week and next and the thirty odd ones after that. This is a good solid pregnancy. I have faith in you and your body that you can do this.
ReplyDeleteThis is great news! And of course you're scared as heck. Hang in there, dear woman. I'm hoping and praying that things keep going well for you and this little one.
ReplyDeleteGreat news!! Can't wait til you're in uncharted territory and into the much, much safer second tri. Deep breaths, one day at a time. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear this news! I totally understand what you are going through. I had major PTSD during my pregnancy with Henry. It is really hard to live with so much hope and something you want so much and just not be able to know with 100% certainty what is going to happen. And because it's happening inside you, you can't escape, even for a minute. Thinking of you and so happy to hear your good news!!
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I know exactly what you mean - even watching the heartbeat thump away, it took many, many weeks before I could start to believe that it was really thumping away in ME. Hoping these next two weeks (plus 30 after that!) are perfectly boring and uneventful and scare-free!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy things continue to go well! Hoping it stays that way for the next 30+ weeks!
ReplyDeleteFantastic news! Here's to hoping you soon move into uncharted territory.
ReplyDeleteAWESOME NEWS! yessssssssssssssss. deep breaths. zen. what will be will be. one day/hour/minute/second at a time. You are doing so amazing sweet friend. You are in my thoughts constantly! Thank you for the update. zen zen zen zen zen. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch great news. I realize this is from a week ago and a lot can change in a week, but I'm hoping all is still well.
ReplyDeleteI am a believer that this pregnancy is The One. Such great news on this u/s. Thinking about you and your little one growing strong and healthy!
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