More "not good but we still don't know for sure" news

Had my ultrasound this morning. Gestational sac, measuring small. Barely there yolk sac, only visible after MUCH digging around and searching.
  
Dr. B. was present at the ultrasound and even "took the wheel" for a while. And then I met with her in her office afterwards, and she spent time going through what we saw and what it means. I can't recall the numbers, but both her and the ultrasound tech took measurements of the sac, and there are guidelines about the mean diameter and what should be seen when. Basically was on the fringe of viability, but not looking good.
  
So we scheduled another ultrasound for Monday afternoon (for which Dr. B earned some points by pulling strings to get me in).
  
I also had blood drawn, and she called me herself with the results early this afternoon: 
Beta #4 = 6231.
   
Which was actually higher than I expected, but Dr. B. was discouraged and wanted it to be higher. She still thought my situation was inconclusive, but began discussing options for having a procedure, which she never explicitly said D&C but I can only assume is what she meant. She offered that if I came for an ultrasound Wednesday instead, that we could do an office procedure the same day. 
   
The thought of going through a D&C in the same fashion as the hysteroscopy - ie barely medicated - sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me right now, and I basically said as much. And she said that she could schedule something with a colleague (and anesthesia) instead for later in the week.
  
Ugh ugh ugh. Has been a really rough day, I basically cried all morning, but I'm actually doing okay now.
  
My husband had to go out of town and couldn't go with me, which had me in tears all day Monday at the thought of not having him. But my awesome friend K, who is a fellow IF/RPL soldier, agreed to take me. Not only did she endure the 3-hr ordeal with me this morning including driving, but we've been talking by phone all day and has been really helpful in processing it all and moving to a better place already.
  
There's so much more to share about today and the past week, but my brain is just exhausted right now. I'm terribly sad and disappointed, but I'm dealing. And I'm actually seeing a bright side in this horrible situation: we were able to get pregnant on our own again, and the pregnancy progressed far enough that I've got the option for a D&C and testing and possible explanation.
  
I'm going to be okay, and live to fight another day.