At my meditation class on Wednesday before the holiday, we talked about a zen mantra of Nowhere to go, No one to be, Nothing to do. That sounded like a pretty awesome mantra for the long weekend, especially since I’m not a big shopper, it was cold and grey outside, and my uterus still hurt from the hysteroscopy. Proud to say that I was very very lazy, hence was feeling very very zen and relaxed. (Always an accomplishment in the fertility journey.)
But I’m already starting to fray at the edges for 2 reasons.
First, I still haven’t ovulated. At the recommendation of Dr. B, I invested in a way-overpriced fertility monitor. (Yup, the one with a baby in the box described by Misfit Mrs.) It finally clicked over from Low to High on Friday, but hasn’t bumped up to Peak (LH surge) yet. I even broke out an old OPK yesterday to double check. Nada.
My cycles used to be so regular and predictable, ovulating around CD13 or 14. And I’m already at CD16! (CD17 arguably, since got it at night.) WTF?? Did the hysteroscopy scare my ovaries into hiding? Did the clomid wreak havoc on my cycle? Is the damn fertility monitor a piece of junk? I’m trying not to lose hope that the big O is waiting around the corner, but I’m not very good at waiting for the 2ww to even start. So much for making a turkey-baby.
Secondly, I’m getting a cold. Getting sick worries me, like everything is already hanging in such a fragile balance, that the illness or stress on my system might throw any chance of a BFP out the window. So far seems like just a head cold, no fever, so I’m sure will be fine in a few days, but still frustrates me. Especially since I’m too paranoid to take any medicine, which then just makes me get even sicker. Argh.
On the bright side, all things considered, I’m still feeling pretty calm and not too anxious. The last few months have been rocky, so feels good to be on at least semi-solid footing. The crazy is lurking just around the corner, especially if I don’t ovulate soon, and surely as the 2ww progresses, but for now I’ll take it.
Hope everyone enjoyed – or at least survived without too much damage – the Thanksgiving holiday!
hooray for a zen and lazy weekend (but boo for lazy ovaries :-/).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed your long weekend and I hope your ovaries get back to work soon!
Hang in there...glad you found some zen moments during the holiday. Waiting to ovulate is the w.o.r.s.t. - I hope you do soon!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you found some zen moments over the break. I went black Friday shopping for 13 hours. Ugh! But got almost all my shopping done.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you just missed your peak day? I just started checking my ovulation day and it has always been cd15 when I get the surge. I heard it is always the same so may e you just missed it? You may just get that turkey baby;)
Isn't it crazy...I'm convinced I had basically normal cycles until I started on Clomid. My clock work cycles are so hit and miss now (I refuse to believe it could be a result of getting older :). You must be so frustrated.
ReplyDeleteBTW-your meditation class sounds awesome.
C'mooooooooon ovulation! I have never used one of those monitors but am wondering if they are accurate right off the bat or if they need a cycle or two to "learn" your hormone surges in order to hone in on a peak reading? Cover your bases if your other usual signs are making their appearances (EWCM and all of that stuff.....not that I'd know since I don't ovulated without meds!).
ReplyDeleteAnd so glad you had a chillaxed weekend. It sounds lovely. I miss meditation at PDTM and seeing you each week, friend! Zen zen zen zen. xoxo
Glad you had a good relaxing weekend. Sorry ovulation is late this time around, but it does not mean game over by any means. I agree with Egg, though, and definitely use other signs to determine if you're surging since this is the first month using the monitor. Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteI NEVER get positive OPK's. It definitely drives you crazy. Here's hoping to a quick (and detectable) O!
ReplyDeleteWe are in the same boat. I am on day 17 with no peak, so wondering whether the hysterscopy did some wonky things.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just got a call that they have my results from the scan, so you ought to be right behind me. Will post on the results as soon as I have them!